Love Bites Us

For/from “Recycle Love” (which is, like, the coolest handle ever)

(you know it had to play with the vampire theme)

(but I hope you like how it went a little… sideways)

“Why do you think every teenage girl wants a vampire boyfriend?” I asked while he fiddled with the ropes. “I know, Twilight, but Twilight exists because of that desire. It didn’t create it.”

“Mmmmm,” he mumbled. Rope between his teeth, rope around my ankles, thighs.

“Before Twilight, what? Buffy. And before that True Blood—and earlier still, Anne Rice. Did it start with Anne Rice’s vampires? Eternally young… but experienced? Is that the fantasy?”

He didn’t say anything. Tightened the rope. Pulled it up between my thighs now. Solid. But not uncomfortable.

“Maybe it goes back to Bram Stoker,” I mused, shifting a little as the rope slackened, then tightened. “Although… it’s been a while since I’ve read the book. But in the more recent movies… fuck, Gary Oldman is hot. I’d fuck him in a heartbeat. Ouch!”

“Your conversation is not particularly arousing. To me,” he said, lacing the rope around my torso now.

“Because you’re not an eternally young vampire?” I asked. Looked at him critically. “I love you anyway.”

“Small consolation,” he said. “Would you love me more if I was a vampire? Immortal? Near-indestructible?”

“Amoral, psychopathic,” I added. “Always, as you covered me with love bites, just the tiniest bit of arousal-pressure away from killing me… turning me into one of you…”

“You fucking would. Bitch!” He tightened the rope across my breasts. Aggressively, roughly.

“The danger would definitely be arousing,” I said, teeth gritting.

“I’m going to gag you,” he said. “Or else no amount of rope is going to give me an erection.”

“Don’t be childish. Or jealous,” I said. “Of what? A vampire fantasy? Not even my vampire fantasy, but like, a Jungian, cultural vampire fantasy? Come on. It has nothing on the reality of us.”

“Except,” he said, pulling the rope up my back and hesitating around my throat, “it does, doesn’t it? Why does this turn you on? Why do you want to be fucked tied up and helpless?”

“Because it turns you on,” I said. Rubbed a little against the rope between my thighs.

“Liar,” he said.

Put a gag in my mouth, and tore into my neck with his very human teeth, and I sunk into the reality of us… while he fantasized, I suspected, that he was an immortal vampire.



For Nicole: Cardamom Knob Wool

For Jenn: Piano River Feather

For Lara: Peasant Cicada Pomegranate

For Paola: Stoked Sunrise Ferocity

For Nina: Crimson Brilliant Moon

For Cathy: Elated Chocolate Tears

For Lisa: Collar Forgiveness Wind 

For Leslie: Train Clouds Mountain

For Grazyna: Anticipation Disappointment Hope

For Tet: Pills Chips Lotion

For Fionna: Crimson Ocean Dance

For Nina: Jaw Hair Voice

For Bella: Bike Muscles Beard

For Roub: Voluptuous Amerindian Silky

For Recycle Love: Love Bites Us

Next? Leave your words in comments or whisper them in my ear at



Connect with me here:

 Rough Draft Confessions 

Twitter / GoodReads / FaceBook / Instagram


Consequences is coming out May 2, 2017! Which means I need to start preparing for the launch. Which means–cue panic.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

CUNT versus PUSSY is now available in paperback via Chapters and places like that. I’ve also, at the request of librarians and a writing teacher, prepared a conventionally titled version of it called Rough Draft Confessions. I feel like a sell-out. Still. I suppose it makes sense. It’ll be releasing quietly and stealthily in April.

SCREW CHOCOLATE: all 14 valentines are up, and were they not fabulous? My gratitude, hugs and kisses to all the talented participants.

Also, I wrote another book last month. Well, like, last week. More on that… next week. 😉


About mjanecolette

Writer. Reader. Angster. Reformed Bohemian (not). Author of the erotic romance TELL ME, the erotic tragedy (with a happy ending) CONSEQUENCES (of defensive adultery), the award-winning rom-com (she's versatile) CHERRY PIE CURE, and TEXT ME, CUPID--a (slightly dirty) love story for 21st century adults who don't believe in love... but want it anyway. A sought-after speaker and presenter, Colette is also the author of the Dirty Writing Secrets Series, which includes the non-fiction collection of essays ROUGH DRAFT CONFESSIONS: not a guide to writing and selling erotica and romance but full of inside inside anyway, 101 FLIRTY WRITING PROMPTS TO SEDUCE YOUR MUSE, and ORGANIZED CREATIVE. She's also the curator of the fab YYC Queer Writers anthologies Queer Christmas in Cowtown, Screw Chocolate, and A Queer Summer Night's in Cowtown. Releasing Spring 2020: CUPID IN MONTE CARLO.

One comment

  1. Pingback: Flower Face Foot | m jane colette

Tell me...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s