1.5 The Negotiation #textmecupid #messychristmas #fullchapter #holidayread

TEXT ME, CUPID // Episode 1, Scene 5

Previous: 1.1 // The Challenge  💘 1.2 // The Challenger 💘 1.3 // One Night Stand Gone Wrong
1.4 // Panties, Penises & Bank Vaults 💘

Monday, December 11

notanightingale: Did I leave my bra—black lace, Empreinte label—at your place?

iwillornot: Let me check. The brand’s Empreinte, did you say?

notanightingale: I’m proactively giving it to you in case you have a collection of black lace bras under your bed.

iwillornot: Well, what can I do when your sex is so careless with your precious possessions. Yes, it’s here. With a matching panty.

notanightingale: You can keep the panties, they’re cheap. The bra, however, is not and it’s my favourite. Can you leave it for me at the cafe where we met?

iwillornot: I’m so flattered you wore your favourite bra for our one night stand.

iwillornot: Leave it at the cafe? And say what? “My friend left this here—she’ll be by to pick it up later?”

notanightingale: You’d put it in a bag, idiot. They wouldn’t know what was in it.

iwillornot: I’d feel awkward. Why don’t you just come pick it up here?

notanightingale: I don’t want to come to your apartment again.

iwillornot: Come meet me in the cafe.

notanightingale: I don’t want to see you again. Remember? One night stand?

iwillornot: Cafe, in the middle of the day. I promise we won’t have sex.

notanightingale: LOL.

iwillornot: Besides. You want to see me again. Just a little. Right?

notanightingale: I want my bra back.

iwillornot: Right.

notanightingale: Could you please just leave it at the cafe?

iwillornot: No. If you want it back—now, I’m no expert on women’s lingerie, but Empreinte sounds French and thus expensive… hold on, I’m going to google it… Holy fuck, who pays this much for a bra?

notanightingale: Women who want to be good to their breasts.

iwillornot: Jesus Christ, is that underwire made of gold? Or platinum?

notanightingale: You pay for the lace. And the fit.

iwillornot: Seriously? Anyway. My point is—expensive bra. Favourite bra. Want it back? Meet me for coffee.

notanightingale: What do you think is going to happen, Will? I meet you for coffee and I realize that we were meant to be together and we walk out of Cafe Blanca holding hands?

iwillornot: We’ll have coffee, I’ll give you back your bra, and we won’t have sex in the cafe washroom, although we’ll both think about it. A little.

notanightingale: LOL.

iwillornot: And I’ll make you laugh. A little.

notanightingale: Ok. Next Saturday morning?

iwillornot: It’s my weekend with the kids. Friday or Monday?

notanightingale: This Friday, at noon?

iwillornot: Friday at noon, Cafe Blanca.

notanightingale: Would it be possible to meet across the river? At Weeds Cafe, on 20th Avenue? I’m going to be running between jobs, and Cafe Blanca’s a bit out of the way.

iwillornot: Sure, I know where that is. See you there, Friday, noon.

notanightingale: Don’t forget my bra.

iwillornot: I won’t. I might bring the panties too if I’m feeling generous.

notanightingale: LOL. I told you you could keep those.



  • Scene 1: The Challenge – Friday, December 1 (releasing Sat., Nov 10, 2018)
  • Scene 2: The Challenger – Sunday, December 3 (releasing Wed, Nov 14, 2018)
  • Scene 3: One Night Stand Gone Wrong – Wednesday, December 6 (releasing Sat, Nov 17, 2018)
  • Scene 4: Panties, Penises & Bank Vaults – Thursday, December 7 (releasing Wed, Nov 21, 2018)
  • Scene 5: The Negotiation – Monday, December 11 (releasing Sat, Nov 24, 2018)
  • Scene 6: Cute, Fab in The Sack, Not Interested, Also, Psychic – Friday, December 15 (releasing Wed, Nov 28, 2018)
  • Scene 7: Routine To The Rescue, Sort of – Monday, December 18 (releasing Sat, Dec 1, 2018)
  • Scene 8: Methadone Fail – Monday, December 18, continued (releasing Wed, Dec 5, 2018)
  • Scene 9: In Case You Missed It The First Time-  Christmas Sucks When You’re Divorced – Tuesday, December 19 (releasing Sat, Dec 8, 2018)
  • Scene 10: Lies, Groceries & Plans: Thursday, December 21 (releasing Wed, Dec 12, 2018)
  • Scene 11: Fake Christmas Eve Fails & Victories – Saturday, December 23 + Sunday, December 24 (releasing Sat, Dec 15, 2018)
  • Scene 12: Sex, Stick & Carrot – Sunday, December 24, continued (releasing Wed, Dec 19, 2018)
  • Scene 13: Dry – Monday, December 25 (releasing Sat, Dec 22, 2018)

Of course, if at any point, you can’t take it any more and want to read ahead, one-click Messy Christmas or pre-order the full Text Me, Cupid series. In this case, I thoroughly approve of your desire for instant gratification. 😉

(And if you’re on-track and devouring all the novellas as they realize–five more days until Saving Christmas is live!)







About mjanecolette

Writer. Reader. Angster. Reformed Bohemian (not). Author of the erotic romance TELL ME, the erotic tragedy (with a happy ending) CONSEQUENCES (of defensive adultery), the award-winning rom-com (she's versatile) CHERRY PIE CURE, and TEXT ME, CUPID--a (slightly dirty) love story for 21st century adults who don't believe in love... but want it anyway. A sought-after speaker and presenter, Colette is also the author of the Dirty Writing Secrets Series, which includes the non-fiction collection of essays ROUGH DRAFT CONFESSIONS: not a guide to writing and selling erotica and romance but full of inside inside anyway, 101 FLIRTY WRITING PROMPTS TO SEDUCE YOUR MUSE, and ORGANIZED CREATIVE. She's also the curator of the fab YYC Queer Writers anthologies Queer Christmas in Cowtown, Screw Chocolate, and A Queer Summer Night's in Cowtown. Releasing Spring 2020: CUPID IN MONTE CARLO.


  1. Pingback: Text Me, Cupid | m jane colette

  2. Pingback: 1.6 Cute, Fab In The Sack, Not Interested, Also, Psychic #textmecupid #messychristmas #holidayread | m jane colette

  3. Pingback: 1.7 Routine To The Rescue, Sort Of #textmecupid #messychristmas #newrelease | m jane colette

  4. Pingback: 1.8 Methadone Fail #textmecupid #messychristmas #hotnewrelease | m jane colette

  5. Pingback: 1.9 // In Case You Missed It The First Time: Christmas Sucks When You’re Divorced #textmecupid #holidayromance #messychristmas | m jane colette

  6. Pingback: 1.10 // Lies, Groceries & Plans | m jane colette

  7. Pingback: 1.11 // Fake Christmas Eve Fails & Victories | m jane colette

  8. Pingback: 1.12 // Sex, Stick & Carrot | m jane colette

  9. Pingback: 1.13 // Dry | m jane colette

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