—Hi. 🙂

—I was just thinking about you too.

—Oh, you know. Stuff.

—Maybe… what were you thinking?


—Well… yes, maybe, a little shocked. I didn’t expect you to be so… explicit?

—No, not offended, just…




—no, really, I can’t type that. I can’t even THINK that!



—I am, I did.

—I really am doing it. Yes.






—Yes, soaked.

—OMFG, your mind…

—I can’t.

—your tongue

—yes, just like that

—right there

—oh fuck


—I want more.

—I can’t…

—I just can’t, I know you think I’m a prude, but I can’t…

—oh… yes…



—yes, I love it…






—I don’t know…


—I am…

—I will…


—one more time…

—yes, like that…


—a puddle


—thank you?




—yes 🙂

—I’m too fucking shy.


—maybe next time?


—oh yes


—me too

—ttyl xo

Liked it? Wanna listen to it? Here’s The Shy Girl’s Guide to Sexting, performed by Elisa Kae:

M. Jane Colette writes tragedy for people who like to laugh, comedy for the melancholy, and erotica for men and women who like their fantasies real. She’s the author of the “is it literature or is it porn” erotic romances Tell Me (2015) and (the) Consequences (of defensive adultery) (coming Spring 2017) and the non-fiction collection of essays on taboo languages and the business of writing, CUNT versus PUSSY (2016). Connect with her at @mjanecolette or

text © M. Jane Colette 2017

photography ©  Jennifer Weihmann

used with permission; ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.


SCREW CHOCOLATE: 14 Queer Valentines To Help You Survive February 14 is a collaborative project by YYC Queer Writers. We get together intermittently to… write. Also, laud our lovers. Commiserate about our exes. Read each other what we wrote. Explain what we want to write. Try to justify why we aren’t writing it. Go home and write it. Come back. Share it… repeat.


This slideshow requires JavaScript.


Valentine 1: Mountains & Moments by T

Valentine 2:Karma, in Pronouns by Marzena Czarnecka

Valentine 3: The Long Commute by L. Sara Bysterveld

Valentine 4: It Happens Like This by Dana Stan

Valentine 5: Try by M. Jane Colette

Valentine 6: Sunrise by Brooke Nicholas

Valentine 7: Want by T

Valentine 8: Get The Fuck Up & Love by Dallas Barnes

Valentine 9: Elizabeth by Nola Sarina

Valentine 10: Instructions by PW Zelli

Valentine 11: Unmentionables by Alyssa Linn Palmer

Valentine 12: The Shy Girl’s Guide to Sexting by M. Jane Colette


Valentine 13: Delivery by Elisa Kae

Valentine 14: Alter Ego In A Red Tie by Lotis Cervantes


About mjanecolette

Writer. Reader. Angster. Reformed Bohemian (not). Author of the erotic romance TELL ME, the erotic tragedy (with a happy ending) CONSEQUENCES (of defensive adultery), the award-winning rom-com (she's versatile) CHERRY PIE CURE, and TEXT ME, CUPID--a (slightly dirty) love story for 21st century adults who don't believe in love... but want it anyway. A sought-after speaker and presenter, Colette is also the author of the Dirty Writing Secrets Series, which includes the non-fiction collection of essays ROUGH DRAFT CONFESSIONS: not a guide to writing and selling erotica and romance but full of inside inside anyway, 101 FLIRTY WRITING PROMPTS TO SEDUCE YOUR MUSE, and ORGANIZED CREATIVE. She's also the curator of the fab YYC Queer Writers anthologies Queer Christmas in Cowtown, Screw Chocolate, and A Queer Summer Night's in Cowtown. Releasing Spring 2020: CUPID IN MONTE CARLO.


  1. Pingback: SCREW CHOCOLATE | m jane colette

  2. Pingback: DELIVERY by Elisa Kae | m jane colette

  3. Pingback: ALTER EGO IN A RED TIE by Lotis Cervantes | m jane colette

  4. Pingback: MOUNTAINS & MOMENTS by T | m jane colette

  5. Pingback: How a story is born–from the Afterword to Cherry Pie Cure | m jane colette

  6. Pingback: SCREW CHOCOLATE 2 | m jane colette

  7. Pingback: Screw Chocolate Countdown: She With Them by Tet Millare | m jane colette

  8. Pingback: Cherry Pie Cure–the real time Blog Edition | m jane colette

  9. Pingback: Backlist Spotlight: SCREW CHOCOLATE #LGBTQ #queerlit | m jane colette

  10. Pingback: Backlist Spotlight: SCREW CHOCOLATE 2 #LGBTQ #queerlit | m jane colette

Tell me...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s