TEXT ME, CUPID
A (slightly dirty) Love Story
(for 21st century adults)
in Four Episodes
BY M. JANE COLETTE
Meet Will and Florence. He’s freshly divorced and in denial. She’s twice-burnt and prickly. They’re a terrible idea. They know this. But every time their eyes meet, their clothes come off.
THE CHALLENGE
PROFILE: notanightingale
38, Straight, Woman, Single, 173 cm, Fit
Caucasian, Speaks English and Other, Attended high school ?, Religion Other (and laughing about it)
Never smokes, Never drinks, never does drugs, Carnivore, Has kid(s) and doesn’t want more, Sagittarius
K, I’ve done this before, looking for a partner or soul mate or someone-to-grow-to-love, and you know what? I’m done with that. Honestly: I’m just looking for some casual sex. Specifically, during December. It’s a weird season overloaded with memories and childhood trauma—and adult trauma for that matter. Which is already more than what you need to know. All I’m interested in is a one-night stand, or several—not all of them with you, I’m just making it clear that I’m interested in playing with multiple partners. I don’t want to get attached and I don’t want you to get attached.
And seeing as that’s what I’m looking for, you don’t really need to know anything else, right? Look at the pics. If I’m cute enough, message me.
I don’t respond to creeps, children, married men, or fat people. Sorry. I am that shallow. I might consider couples, if you’re both fit and cute. (Shallow. Really shallow. I’m not kidding about that.)
December sucks. Let’s make it more fun for each other for one night.
THE CHALLENGER
iwillornot sent you a message!
iwillornot: Are you for real?
notanightingale: Are you?
iwillornot: Meet for coffee to find out?
iwillornot: I’m Will, by the way.
notanightingale: Will, or not? LOL.
notanightingale: Do you understand and agree to my terms?
iwillornot: I’m reeling from a recent divorce and incapable of having a meaningful relationship, possibly even a meaningful conversation. Or, at the moment, a meaningful life. The only upside to my situation is that after fifteen years of monogamy I get to chase all the strange I want. And December sucks. And I’m damn fit for a guy a couple of years past forty. Also—bonus—I still have all my hair. So, yeah. Bring it on, Florence.
notanightingale: Did you just figure out my real name from my handle? Oh, Will. We will have fun.
iwillornot: It was rather obvious. So. Coffee. Saturday morning?
notanightingale: One night stands begin in the evening. Wednesday night? Also, you’re not teasing about the hair? I can do bald, but only if it comes with killer abs.
iwillornot: Fucking full head of hair. Although there’s more salt than pepper in it—as you can tell from the pics if you look. Premature greying. It’s because I’m so fucking brilliant.
iwillornot: Also, I do have killer abs. Thank you for inferring.
notanightingale: Also, you like big words. LOL. So—Wednesday night?
iwillornot: Wednesday night. Cafe Blanca near Eau Claire convenient for you? My apartment’s just upstairs.
notanightingale: Perfect.
Experience their unique, hilarious, and heart-wrenching love story through 2018, as we lead up to the paperback release of the full novel at Christmas 2018:
💕 Text Me, Cupid: a steamy holiday romance in four episodes 💕
- Episode 1: Messy Christmas (December 6, 2017) NOW AVAILABLE
- Episode 2: Delayed Valentine (February 13, 2018) NOW AVAILABLE
- Episode 3: Bittersweet Halloween (October, 2018) BE THE FIRST TO KNOW
- Episode 4: Saving Christmas (November, 2018) BE THE FIRST TO KNOW
★★★
Note: The first episode of Text Me, Cupid was also released in “real time,” chapter by chapter, on my Facebook page and on Book+Main from December 1, 2017! My handle on Book+Main is, of course, @mjanecolette, also known as user 18443 (https://bookandmainbites.com/mjanecolette).
PRE-ORDER: COMING OCTOBER 1, 2018
PRE-ORDER: COMING NOVEMBER 2018
★★★
READ MORE
Meet Will and Florence. He’s freshly divorced and in denial. She’s twice-burnt and prickly. They’re a terrible idea. They know this. But every time their eyes meet, their clothes come off.
Meet Florence:
“I’ve done this before, looking for a partner or soul mate or someone-to-grow-to-love, and you know what? I’m done with that. Honestly. I’m just looking for some casual sex. A one night stand. Specifically, during December, because it’s a weird season.”
She’s shallow:
“I don’t respond to creeps, children, married men, or fat people. Sorry. I am that shallow. I might consider couples, if you’re both fit and cute. (Shallow. Really shallow. I’m not kidding about that.)”
She really is that shallow:
“You’re not teasing about the hair? I can do bald, but only if it comes with killer abs.”
This is Will:
“I’m reeling from a recent divorce and incapable of having a meaningful relationship. The only upside to my situation is that after fifteen years of monogamy I get to chase all the strange I want.”
Will has plans:
In this head, she was already naked. Was she going to be covered with freckles? God, yes—freckles everywhere. He would find every single one.
Did I mention, Will has plans?
“See, I’ve only known you for five minutes, and I already know you like to be in control. We’re going to change that.”
Florence likes him:
“You’re very sweet. And cute. Totally as advertised. Fit. Hair. Also, as tall as your profile said, which is a bonus. Do you know that almost all men on dating sites like about their height? They add two inches. And not just to their… you-know-what’s. Seriously.”
But it’s not going to work out:
“You’re so sweet. So hot. But it’s not going to work out. I already know.”
Or is it? Find out, in Messy Christmas (now available), Delayed Valentine (now available), Bittersweet Halloween (October 2018) and Saving Christmas (November 2018).
Releasing in full, in all formats including audio, as TEXT ME, CUPID for CHRISTMAS 2018.
READ MORE ABOUT MESSY CHRISTMAS
READ MORE ABOUT DELAYED VALENTINE
JUST DO IT: BUY MESSY CHRISTMAS NOW
JUST DO IT: BUY DELAYED VALENTINE
💕 YES! MY LIFE NEEDS MORE LOVE LETTERS! 💕
★★★
m jane colette 