posted by susan-oh-susan / april 20 at 12:30 pm / uncategorized / 10 comments
Marcella made me send screen shots of the last exchanges with John to the lawyer. And then she made me apply for a credit card in my own name.
And I felt like a child. And stupid. And I cried.
And I felt like I suddenly took not two but two dozen, two hundred steps back.
Nika called, enraged, and wanted to tell Cody, but I wouldn’t let her (and you CAN’T, Nika—don’t—this is between their father and me, ok?).
And I felt financially vulnerable.
Thanks, John.
And threatened.
Well done, John.
And I was afraid to see Reza, because A. I didn’t want him to know why I was upset and B. because I was afraid.
(I was afraid of… what? What was I afraid of? Not Reza. I was just afraid… I was afraid of giving John… ammunition. Something else that would make me vulnerable. OMG. That was it. I was afraid… of upsetting John… because suddenly I felt I was in his power. I felt powerless.)
(But I didn’t realize that then. I was just… afraid.)
I texted Reza to cancel our plans for the night. Said I was sick and had to go to bed.
He came to my house after work anyway with a loaf of bread and three cans of chicken soup.
“I don’t have to stay,” he said. “But you need to eat when you are sick.”
He told me to go to bed and heated up the canned soup for me in my kitchen, and then brought it up to me to bed.
And then sat beside me.
And I asked him to stay, and I fell asleep in his arms, and I didn’t tell him why I was upset or sick or anything, but I didn’t have to, and I was so happy.
I mean, I was still upset and sad, and a little afraid, and I’d intermittently sob.
But I was so happy.
Life is so strange.
*
10 comments on Chicken soup fixes everything (almost):
mommyshidinginthebathroom3: Love is so simple.
FemmeFataleFun: Jerome and Caspian, no spoiling this with smart ass comments. Marcella, ditto.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: What would I say? What do I ever say to spoil things? I fucking love her sappy, whiney, sad, happy MARVELLOUS ass unconditionally.
sugar&spice76: Happy-sad hugs.
ilikeherbooty-full: Sorry, Femme, I just need to say that I have the best comeback to Marcella’s comment and I’m not sharing it, just for you. Well, mostly for Susan. But also for you.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: I also have a comeback to Jerome’s non-comeback, and I’m not sharing it.
ilikeherbooty-full: Cougar? Text me. You know you’re dying to tell me. And also, you’ve worked so hard. You have finally earned it. My number, I mean. (678) 555 7101.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: Dickweed? Keep on dreaming.
FemmeFataleFun: What the fuck did I say?
susan-oh-susan: I kind of love all of you guys.
…
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mjanecolette
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