posted by susan-oh-susan / march 24 at 7:30 pm / uncategorized / 41 comments
Reza texted. He is coming over on Monday to do yard work. He works at Safeway all the weekend, but Monday is his day off.
So he’s coming.
At 10 am.
Question: should I bake? You know, the pie?
41 comments on He’s coming!:
Caspian00XO: Yes and this time I get some!
FemmeFataleFun: Woot-woot! And you know we will need full descriptions, girl, right? Play-by-play!
susan-oh-susan: You know I won’t be able to do. Well, I’ll tell you if we kiss.
FemmeFataleFun: Nnnnah-nah-nah. We want the full thing. He said, I said, he cupped, I gasped… Details, Susan!
susan-oh-susan: I couldn’t! I can’t! I’ve never, ever written about… I mean, ok, let me be honest. I really hope we have sex. There. I’ve said it, ok? I’m not pretending I… but it probably won’t happen the first time. Ok, I’m hoping, but I’m not planning. OMG, I’m inviting someone to my house for the first time, and I’m hoping we’re going to have sex. What’s wrong with me?
sugar&spice76: Nothing, honey. You’re a divorced woman in your forties. What’cha gonna be saving yourself for? Go to it.
mommyshidinginthebathroom3: Yeah, have fun, and kudos to you for not pretending that you don’t want it. And like Femme said, we want a play-by-play!
susan-oh-susan: Even if it happens… I don’t know how to do it, you know?
mommyshidinginthebathroom3: You’re the mother of two children, right? You’ve had sex before, right?
susan-oh-susan: I don’t mean do it, I mean describe it! You know what I mean! I can’t write… I mean I can say, I can type breasts. Other words?
BeautifulThingsEveryday: Ok, Susan, you can do this. You did it when you were drunk, remember? Now, type after me: Vagina. Vulva. Penis. There. Now your turn.
susan-oh-susan: I feel ridiculous.
FemmeFataleFun: Do it!
susan-oh-susan: Ok, I giggled.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: Now… vulva. No, never mind. Who the fuck says vulva when they’re describing sex? Pussy.
susan-oh-susan: I can’t.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: Do it. Or I’m upping the stakes.
susan-oh-susan: Look, I typed penis today, ok? While sober. Twice. Let me be.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: Now you have to type Pussy and Cock. And also Clit.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: And Cunt.
susan-oh-susan: Do not post words like that on my blog.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: Cunt. Cunt. Cunt. Cunt. Cunt.
susan-oh-susan: You fucking bitch, come over here and show me how to delete these comments.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: CUNT. CUNT. CUNT. CUNT. CUNT. What’s the matter with you, Sue? It’s just a word.
susan-oh-susan: BITCH. BITCH. BITCH. BITCH. Is that just a word?
ilikeherbooty-full: You have absolutely no class, Cougar.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: Hey, I’m trying to get Susan to loosen up.
ilikeherbooty-full: She doesn’t need to loosen up, she needs to go bake some pie. Ok, Susan? Two pies? One for your boy toy and one for me?
Caspian00XO: And one for me. That’s three.
ilikeherbooty-full: I’d also like to point out that if I used the “c” word in one of my comments, you’d rip me to shreds, Cougar. Cause you’re a fucking hypocrite.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: Why are you still calling me a cougar?
ilikeherbooty-full: Because you’re forty-five and I’m twenty-five and you want me.
BeautifulThingsEveryday: I want you like I want a double root canal without anaesthesia.
ilikeherbooty-full: Cunt. And apparently, a masochist? Sub, too? How sub are you, Canadian cunt?
ilikeherbooty-full: See, at least Susan’s not a hypocrite. I’m sorry, shawty. Do I still get my pie?
Find out more: Cherry Pie Cure: Cast of Characters and More
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PS A Table of Contents of the Cherry Pie Cure/Susan’s Writing Cure Blog posts can be found at the Cherry Pie Cure landing page.
Feature image source: https://www.pexels.com/photo/red-cherries-on-stainless-steel-bowl-1178610/