And then… everyone left #cherrypiecure

posted by susan-oh-susan / february 28 at 10:44 am / uncategorized / 19 comments

What happened next?

The most awful thing possible.

Everyone left… and I was left all alone.

The boys and Nika were wonderful while they were here. The boys cooked, and Nika cleaned and got me out of the bedroom into the living room. Dragged me to the library and filled my arms with historical romances.

“The prescription for a broken heart is a hot duke,” she pronounced. “Everybody knows this. Except for a certain class of American woman who has forgotten this and thinks the prescription for a broken heart is yoga. It’s not, Susan, and anyone who tells you otherwise isn’t thinking about sex enough.”

I blushed.

Thought about how Marcella always went to yoga more often in-between relationships.

But I loved my son’s girlfriend unreservedly at this point, so she was allowed to say anything she liked.

Also, some of the books she picked out for me were… well.

They made me happy.

For a while.

We spent New Year’s Eve watching bad TV and drinking cheap champagne, and New Year’s Day nursing mild hangovers and resolutely not making resolutions.

And then Tyler left for UBC and Cody and Nika for Queen’s, and I was left all alone.

All alone.




19 comments And then… everyone left:

BeautifulThingsEveryday: A. I do not take yoga to nurse my broken heart. I take it to not get fat when I stop burning calories from sex. Phhtfp. And I don’t like Nika. At all. B. I’m so sorry, my lovey-love. I’m so sorry.

susan-oh-susan: I’m not writing any of this to make you feel guilty!

BeautifulThingsEveryday: But I should have known!

susan-oh-susan: How could you?

BeautifulThingsEveryday: I know this happened before we met, Susan, but I went through all the fucked up stages of divorce too. Including the “I can’t get up off my couch except to smoke” stage. But I was too wrapped up in that stupid Lucas-Karen-Charles thing, and I’m so sorry.

mommyshidinginthebathroom3: Lucas, Karen, Charlie? A love triangle, or were you dating three people at the same time?

BeautifulThingsEveryday: Long story, and beside the point. Point being: I’ve been there, and I should have been there for Susan.

sugar&spice76: I’ve been there too, honey. Except instead of to smoke, I only left the couch to eat ice cream. And gained twenty-five pounds in about five days. God. We’ve all been there.

mommyshidinginthebathroom3: I haven’t been there yet. But sadly, statistically, it might be coming. What’s wrong with men?

BeautifulThingsEveryday: What’s right with men?

sugar&spice76: My new one has the loveliest penis.

BeautifulThingsEveryday: LOL. My new boy’s penis is ok, but it’s his tongue that’s really magic.

mommyshidinginthebathroom3: Lucas or Charlie? (I’m assuming Karen’s disqualified, LOL?)

BeautifulThingsEveryday: LOL. Raoul.

mommyshidinginthebathroom3: Slut.

BeautifulThingsEveryday: And so happy about that. ;P Except when it makes me a shitty friend. I’m so sorry, Susan.

susan-oh-susan: Would you believe that I have only ever seen, touched, felt one… of those?

susan-oh-susan: And I won’t say anything about my experience with tongues. 😦

BeautifulThingsEveryday: Susan, we so need to get you laid.

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About mjanecolette

Writer. Reader. Angster. Reformed Bohemian (not). Author of the erotic romance TELL ME, the erotic tragedy (with a happy ending) CONSEQUENCES (of defensive adultery), the award-winning rom-com (she's versatile) CHERRY PIE CURE, and TEXT ME, CUPID--a (slightly dirty) love story for 21st century adults who don't believe in love... but want it anyway. A sought-after speaker and presenter, Colette is also the author of the Dirty Writing Secrets Series, which includes the non-fiction collection of essays ROUGH DRAFT CONFESSIONS: not a guide to writing and selling erotica and romance but full of inside inside anyway, 101 FLIRTY WRITING PROMPTS TO SEDUCE YOUR MUSE, and ORGANIZED CREATIVE. She's also the curator of the fab YYC Queer Writers anthologies Queer Christmas in Cowtown, Screw Chocolate, and A Queer Summer Night's in Cowtown. Releasing Spring 2020: CUPID IN MONTE CARLO.

One comment

  1. Pingback: Cherry Pie Cure–the real time Blog Edition | m jane colette

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