Interrupting, active listening, smutty reads and chocolate as the solution to all of life’s ills

Him: Tell me.

Me: No.

Him: Come on. Tell me.

Me: No. Every time I start to tell you something, you fucking interrupt me just as I’m about to get going and offer me your interpretation-expectation of what you thought I was going to say, or else make the story about you and something that you’ve experienced, so why the hell should I bother?

Him: …

Me: (glare)

Him: …

Me: What?

Him: I thought that was active listening.

Me: No. It’s interrupting. It’s telling me what you think I’m going to say instead of listening to what I’m actually saying. It’s co-opting my story. It’s TALKING, not listening.

Him: …

Me: What?

Him: Well, now I’m afraid to say anything.

Me: Good. Now don’t say anything… and listen.


There’s this quite fantastic little book for parents of teens called I’d Listen to My Parents If They’d Just Shut Up: What to Say and Not Say When Parenting Teens Today by Anthony Wolf.

Screen Shot 2016-08-30 at 12.40.49 PM

I’d rather like to have a version called I’d Talk to My Partner If Only S/he’d Shut Up.

Him: Nice attempt to placate me by slipping in the double-gender pronoun. You’re picking on me.

Me: I don’t have to explain this to my girlfriends.

Him: How about your mother?

Fine. It’s not just a gender thing. But.

Mansplaining is.


Some fun places to check out, my SexyReaders:

Read A Romance Month  — ok, so today’s the last day. That means you have an archive of 93 interviews/encounters with fantastic authors to meander through for the next 11 months until Bobbi Dumas gives us this treat next year. Also connect with Bobbi on Twitter, at @BobbiDumans.

Love Indie Romance — I connected with this enthusiastic bunch of readers and writers on GoodReads last week, and I can’t wait to see where this labour of love takes them. Follow @LoveIndies on Twitter and join the group on GoodReads.


My work at the moment looks like this:

mjc-work plan

but that’s good. Really. Essential. Part of the plan.

You: What’s with the boots?

Me: I thought my illustrations were getting a little too text-heavy. I wanted to sex things up a bit.

You: Are you saying words are not sexy?

Me: They’re not everything.


No, it’s fine, nevermind, I’m fine.

Oh. Chocolate?

Thank you.


About mjanecolette

Writer. Reader. Angster. Reformed Bohemian (not). Author of the erotic romance Tell Me, the erotic tragedy (with a happy ending) Consequences (of defensive adultery), and the rom-com (she's versatile) Cherry Pie Cure, as well as the non-fiction collection of essays Rough Draft Confessions: not a guide to writing and selling erotica and romance but full of inside inside anyway. Coming in 2018: Text Me, Cupid, a steamy romance in four episodes. Current WiPs: Queer Christmas in Cowtown, Jewel of the Not-So-Spectacular Boobs, All In the Cards, and Un-Valentine. Yes, working on four projects simultaneously is a spectacularly bad idea.

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