Outtake. Or review. Or peek into my crazy, you choose

I text her, because I’ve texted you three times in the last hour, and I feel I ought to spread the crazy, just a little, you know? So I text her, and she asks the right question, and I say:

Me: Oscillating between pumped-ecstatic and fucking terrified.

And I’m going to tell you the rest, as it unfolded…

Her: Terrified of?

Me: Failure.

Her: Ah. Always possible, but highly unlikely. It is a truly brilliantly written book. It is a voice like I’ve never read. I think the unintentional (;-P) psychological exploration of fidelity is nuanced and sublte. If it flops, it will just make me think less of humanity than I already do…

And I love her, oh, I love her, would you not? My bruised-frightened-battered-ego preens, for a moment. But, reality:

Me: It has a lot of crappy competition to cut thru…

Her: Yup. That will be the hard part. You’ll have stealth on your side as it can pass for just erotica for those who don’t get the more intelligent stuff but I think once it gets picked up by a smarty or two it will get lots of word of mouth.

Word of mouth. Right. Word of mouth. Words on a screen…

Promotion. Marketing. Ugh. My stomach turns. I. So. Don’t. Want. To. And she knows. They all know. They’re supposed to do it for me, because that’s what friends and beta readers do, right?

Her: I’m actually feeling a bit funny about the desire to promote you to my friends but also to maintain your anonymity. Not sure how to work that…

Me: “I know this writer”…

Her: Yeah but I already gushed about it when I read it!

Me: Well, they won’t remember who you were gushing about.

Her: I’m worried I’m not subtle enough. I’m a shitty liar. I’m thinking … accidentally leaving copies of it plces.

Me: Lol. Expensive.

Her: Like Dr. Offices. How embarrassing would that be, to start reading right before an internal exam? Oh, uh, it’s not you Dr….

…

This is an actual true story. You can tell, because the cadence of reality is clunky. Also, I have the screen shots to prove it.

I also have the most amazing support network.

Thank you!

mjc